party on

shopping for dressy dresses is always so unpleasant when you're really plus size. for my prom, i got one made at kleinfeld. for my wedding, i got one made by a designer in my town. then i dyed it black and wore it to a black tie wedding a couple years later because the thought of looking for another dress was painful. 

why plus size dresses with sleeves are so hard to find, i really don't know. most size 28 or 30 women i know are not wearing strapless or cap sleeve dresses - it's just a fact. so i'm embarking on that journey right now for my sister's wedding in september and although i am in a size 18 or 20, depending on the dress, i still VERY MUCH need sleeves no shorter than elbow length. i have very loose skin and lots of it, and sleeves are non-negotiable.

for the friday night portion of my sister's wedding, i ordered this, this, this and this...we'll see what works and return what doesn't. the dress for the wedding itself is still unknown and i will start really, really looking in july when i know better what my size will be.

meanwhile, i'm getting away from what the point of this post was! a couple weeks ago, i donated an old bridesmaid dress to an organization that gives dresses to underprivileged girls for their proms. when i bought the dress, i had the all-too-familiar experience of having to order the largest size it came in as well as extra fabric so that i could bring it to my trusty seamstress* who could basically remake the dress even larger. of course, you pay extra for all those extra steps (and inches). (*note: this is the same seamstress who is now making all my clothes smaller...love that kind of full circle).

i also had a special bolero made to go with it to cover my arms, but not be a dowdy pashmina.  i ended up taking off the uncomfortable bolero and putting on a dowdy pashmina anyway. the worst part of being a bridesmaid for me was never being the largest of a bunch of girls...that was my life, so it barely fazed me. it was more the added attention, expense and effort of the dress itself. 

i felt so good giving it away - not because i was so much smaller than i was then (that feels good any day, of course), but because i knew i'd be making someone's life easier. she wouldn't have to suffer through hot, small fitting rooms and matronly, horrible styles that come in her size, or struggle to find a shrug to wear to cover herself up.