mitchell and i started
supreme 90 day last week which is basically a knockoff of
p90x. my father in law is going to send us that in a few weeks when he's done with it, so in the meantime we decided to do this. it was $20 at walgreens and is a little different, but same idea.
well, so far i've cried most of the nights we've done it. on one hand, it's utter exhaustion from exertion - walking on the treadmill is no real preparation for this kind of workout. and i think it's also frustration - so many of the exercises i can't do fully - either i don't have the strength yet or it hurts - not burns, actually hurts. my knees are so tender any time i put weight on them, which used to be a daily life problem and isn't anymore. i used to not be able to kneel at all because of the screaming pain. now i can get on my hands and knees to look for an earring back or stray shoes (
things mitchell used to have to do for me). but after doing the workout the first night being on my knees repeatedly, they're sore and tender to the touch. and my tailbone, same deal. it's common for people who have lost a lot of weight to have pain in their butt and tailbone (
less padding i guess?) so laying on my back and rolling from side to side hurts. i feel like i'm wincing for the whole time we're working out, either from pain or exertion, or both. the way i look in these pictures is exactly how i felt. and how i feel at the thought of going home and doing it all over again tonight.
of course i feel good when it's over - accomplished, spent, like i'm on my way. mostly i feel like i am honestly doing everything i'm supposed to be doing and that's a great feeling. i don't know about endorphins yet, or about ever enjoying this but the truth is, i don't have to like it, i just have to do it. for 90 days and beyond...
ps. these pictures illuminate my need for forehead botox.
Carla,
ReplyDeleteThis is book worthy stuff!! Are you journaling? Why waste it on a blog. Journal then see if you can get it published. You're a great writer with the ability to make a been-there-done-that story come to life.
Think about it.
Glad to hear you're working out like a fiend. You'll probably never love it, but there'll be a time when it isn't such a pain - literally and otherwise.
First of all, you DO NOT need botox. You earn every single wrinkle you get, embrace them.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, and most importantly, you are doing everything right. You are following up your surgery by focusing on getting fit and eating right. I was 196 at my biggest (currently down about 40 lbs.) and I remember my frustration at not being able to do Pilates. I had to force myself to keep going. I felt sick after every class. But eventually I could do those tough moves, and I didn't even notice the gradual progress, it's just that one day I thought, "Hey, I'm actually doing this!" You goota start somewhere. With everything. You could walk the first time you tried to let go of that sofa, either, but one day you just took off...
Hang in there, cry it out, and celebrate the small successes every once in awhile.
thank you so much to both of you - i appreciate all your encouragement and kind words.
ReplyDeleteSFLIT - i do feel like i have a book in me, and have plans for one hopefully. thanks for the boost!