reflections, part 2

today, for the first time, i didn't recognize my own reflection as i walked by a window. it was a really exhilarating moment ... one of only a few i've had since this process started. let me be clear - it's not that i'm not full of joy and relief - i am, almost every day. but it's one of those things...though it feels surreal sometimes, most of the time, it just feels like my life. it's not without challenges, nor should it be. and it hasn't gone fast - i have felt every day of this past almost-year and it has been hard work, emotionally and physically, and an ever-evolving life. 

so when people ask me "can you believe that you've lost all this weight?," my answer is yes. when people ask if i can believe it's only been a year, my answer is yes. and when i look in the mirror, i most of the time don't feel tremendous waves of emotion when i see my reflection, which is in itself an improvement. i feel okay with what i see, and while i recognize the progress in broad strokes, i don't often experience a rush of pleasure or shock when i see my reflection. but today i did.