happy birthday to me

 

as i turn 32, i weight 110 pounds less than i did when i turned 31. today, my birthday gift is all the things that have changed...all the growing pains, the challenges, the triumphs and wonders, and the fact that i believe there will be many more birthdays to come.

but if i HAD to choose one gift, it would be the gift of having a lap. i honestly can't remember ever having one before, and it's amazing! how handy it comes in on the train...i can rest my bag or my coffee on it, and still be able to move. for the longest time, i didn't have a lap. when i would hold friends' children, they'd have to sit on the very very edge of my knee, and it wasn't comfortable for either of us. this past weekend, we went to the birthday party of our little 2 year old friend and she sat on my lap for the whole day. comfortably. squarely. normally.

i'm obsessed with resting my hands on my thighs when i'm in a seated position in the car or on the train. i feel like there's all this space in between me and the table when i'm seated in a coffee shop or at my desk or at a table...space that was filled before with my body. and now it's just space.

happy birthday to me and the space that's now open for new possibilities.

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