i'm struggling - i feel like i can't stop eating. and i know it's related to the fact that in two weeks, i can't eat anymore (all liquids for 3 weeks pre and 4 weeks post surgery) and then obviously everything will be different. i'm so excited about the surgery and i know its going to be great but i guess i'm also sort of mourning the loss of my friend.
every time i have a craving, i tell myself "well, this will probably be the last time i can have this" and so i give myself permission. on one hand, i feel so guilty about it because this is the worst time to be regressing and makes me feel like i'm not ready for this change. but on the other hand, i feel like it's understandable and i don't want to fight myself on it too hard because i don't want to enter the liquid phase feeling deprived.
i know i need to stop, i keep on telling myself that but then i do it all over again. i just feel depressed and weak when i want to feel excited and strong.
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