this image stopped my in my tracks when cruising around the web...first, because it looks amazing. but second, because it is exactly the kind of meal i would have craved and looked forward to pre-surgery. i loooooved pasta, and in extraordinarily large quantities. i would boil a pound and a half of pasta and have it all to myself, with butter and salt and many times, additional bread soaked in butter and garlic. it was cheap, it was easy and it was exactly the kind of dense comfort food that made me happy. until it didn't, i guess. now when i look at it, while i do think it looks delicious, i have no desire to eat it. i have no urge, no craving, no power beyond my own that makes me think i could eat it, or bargain with myself to allow it.
interestingly, pasta is one of the things that i NEVER crave now, and i think it's largely because i don't eat it. as i've often heard people say about carbs, they create cravings, and in that vein, i think without having eaten pasta in more than eight months, that craving has died. i wonder if it will ever come back. most post-ops don't ever eat pasta - too dense, too high in carbs, acts like a stopper in our tiny stomachs. there exist multigrain pastas which would be a little better, and protein pasta which i guess would fill a desire for it, but i hope i never feel that urge too strongly. i think it was my former self that ate pasta like i did...i don't think this self wants it.
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