80 percent

this is not a pizza. it's also not a pie. it is a visual representation of something my nutritionist and i talked about last night.

in thinking about my upcoming trip to paris, we talked about different approaches to eating and food while i'm there. i know that without a doubt, i do not want to overeat. i want to use weight watchers points as a gauge for my choices, as i've been doing, because i need that kind of barometer. i refuse to look at this trip as being about caloric indulgence - it's coming at too crucial a moment in my life to regress that way. in order to truly enjoy myself, i know i need to take good care of myself on this trip and eat right so i can feel my best, body and soul.

adrienne, my nutritionist, was concerned that i not "diet" while in paris for only five days and make sure to try new things and enjoy them. she's not of the opinion, like some health nuts are, that food is fuel, and only fuel. she believes that food serves a purpose and should make sense, but should also be enjoyed. i think i agree.

so we went deeper into a discussion on this "80 percent" idea that she's mentioned before...that thin people who are thin and stay thin - whether through bypass or other means - employ this 80% mentality, or whatever their own version of it is. simply put, it's that the vast majority of the time, you make good food choices, not wasting calories in mundane situations or on everyday foods. but then once in a while, you have the 20 percent, which are standalone occassions - a holiday, a wedding, a vacation -where you allow yourself to try things, to indulge (within very reasonable reason), and you're okay because of what you do the vast majority of the time.

although what she's saying makes total sense to me -- that's 100% sense, not just 80% -- it worries me too. i worry that i can't trust myself - that my disordered way of thinking about food will convince my otherwise smart, level-headed self that 20% is a much bigger piece of the pie (graph) than it is. but then, maybe that's part of the evolution i need to go through, because deep down, i think i know what 20% is.

but because adrienne knew that looking at paris as five days of 20% was too much for me, she suggested the most brilliant thing...break down paris itself into 80% and 20%...which means that for breakfast, i'll have my cereal/yogurt combo, and for lunch, i'll eat very light so that i can taste a croissant and a macaron, and have a special french dinner.

i think this concept is going to be revolutionary for me (and yes, i recognize weight watchers has it's own form of it in flex points, but this just resonates). i think it has the potential to translate in my real, stateside life when i'm at target buying toilet paper and a piece of chocolate feels appealling...does that moment, charmin in hand, feel like a 20% moment, or would i rather save it for a few bites of dessert at a wedding that weekend?

i realize this isn't a perfect way of looking at it, and i'm cautious of the fact that it still in some way uses food as a means of celebration, but i do appreciate it for its natural fit in the real world and in the real life of a healthy person...one i hope to be one day in the not too distant future.

photo from the mirror uk