tonight, i attended my first support group meeting at the office of the surgeon who will be doing my gastric bypass surgery. i was surprisingly quiet in the room, highly unusual for me. it was nice to be sitting in a circle of people (literally, the chairs were arranged in a circle) who were all in the same boat, not a common occurence for me in the rest of the world. it was nice to not feel like anyone was looking at me for my size, and the chairs in their office are generously sized...comfortable. i suppose that's no coincidence.
it's amazing to think that one day, chair size might not be an issue for me at all, nor will other peoples' stares. i have only the vaguest of memories of that life when i lost 130 pounds on weight watchers and weighed 197...for about five minutes.
it was interesting the way i felt tonight - on one hand, i was very comfortable and felt totally accepted. on the other hand, many of the people in the room had already had their surgeries, so i was a little on the outside. as opposed to my weight watchers meeting where i feel totally on the inside, but not fully understood, since at 370 pounds, my weight problem is different than most of the people there.
i think this support group will provide a cushion for me when i inevitably have to say goodbye to weight watchers. i'm happy i'll still have a circle to be a part of.
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