motivation

photos from www.msnbc.com, courtesy of kelley raver

a tall glass of water

at the suggestion of the nutritionist i'm working with, i have stopped drinking diet sodas (except for one at a bar last weekend) and am in the process of weaning off of all forms of artificial sugars. she says they make you fat. not sure why yet, though i plan on asking more since i (and everyone i've mentioned it to) am very curious.

i like the idea of cutting out junky ingredients that are not really food, but chemicals. it makes sense with the way i've been moving in terms of educating myself about what's in the foods we eat. i also know that by limiting my intake of sweet foods, i will be "resetting my sweetstat," according to the excellent book crave, which i recently read.

i am definitely feeling better as i'm eliminating these fake sugars and carbonated drinks...i remember my weight watchers leader once saying that when she cut them out, all her muscle and joint pain went away. i hadn't thought about that until this morning, but i have to say, it's remarkably true. my knees aren't aching and walking downstairs doesn't hurt all over.

i'm also loving water. i mean looooooving it, which is totally new. it's so interesting how you can sort of tell your body what to do. drink water, i tell myself. and so that's what i'm starting to crave. serving it to myself in a nice carafe and sipping it with a straw makes it extra nice.

photo from photobucket

circle of trust

tonight, i attended my first support group meeting at the office of the surgeon who will be doing my gastric bypass surgery. i was surprisingly quiet in the room, highly unusual for me. it was nice to be sitting in a circle of people (literally, the chairs were arranged in a circle) who were all in the same boat, not a common occurence for me in the rest of the world. it was nice to not feel like anyone was looking at me for my size, and the chairs in their office are generously sized...comfortable. i suppose that's no coincidence.

it's amazing to think that one day, chair size might not be an issue for me at all, nor will other peoples' stares. i have only the vaguest of memories of that life when i lost 130 pounds on weight watchers and weighed 197...for about five minutes.

it was interesting the way i felt tonight - on one hand, i was very comfortable and felt totally accepted. on the other hand, many of the people in the room had already had their surgeries, so i was a little on the outside. as opposed to my weight watchers meeting where i feel totally on the inside, but not fully understood, since at 370 pounds, my weight problem is different than most of the people there.

i think this support group will provide a cushion for me when i inevitably have to say goodbye to weight watchers. i'm happy i'll still have a circle to be a part of.